Thumbs-down Facebook

Posted on 2016-02-28 by sorted.by Melissa

emojis FB

This week Facebook rolled out new emoji icons for mobile users, adding six alternative responses to the classic “Like,” thumbs-up. My initial response was the opposite of “Like,” though I couldn’t at first put my finger (or thumb) on why I was having such a strong negative response to a small change that most users seemed to have been wanting for some time.

It was only after I looked at Facebook from the perspective of my business (as a professional organizer) that I realized why I dislike the new emojis so much: these seemingly innocuous new options are just a further disruption/impediment to the order and calm I try to instill each day in my own life and the lives of my clients.

Let me tell you why.

Clutter. Many of us only consider the clutter we experience in our physical surroundings but, increasingly, it is our virtual environments that threaten to overwhelm us. We are bombarded each day with an excess of media, images and words, an assault which our brains struggle to continuously process. From a design perspective, I appreciate that Facebook has thus far kept its digital presence clean and streamlined. The logo is simple, the color scheme soothing (blue, grey, white, black) and the user interface restricted for the benefit of uniformity. The addition of additional instant responses opens the door to future modification and personalized configurations, and the possibility of losing that streamlined tidiness that keeps virtual clutter at bay.
Choices. Mark Zuckerberg himself said: “I do think it’s important to give people more options than just ‘like’.” Well, now we have six new options. Will this be it, or will Facebook add another six in a few months’ time? Will we continue to request more and more elaborate emojis to use as shortcuts, so that eventually modern language is reduced to merely a string of symbols? Facebook is a platform for connectivity to other people, albeit virtual, and within that framework we should strive to communicate meaningfully with each other. The choice to use emojis rather than express ourselves with words abruptly shortcuts much of the conversation we may have with each other in order to explain and support those simple “Likes”.
Decisions. Now instead of just a simple “Like” we will have to take more time to decide if our response warrants a more emotional icon and, if so, which emoji represents that best. It feels like there are just too many options. Before the new emojis, the decision was simple: “Like” it if it sparked something in you, ignore and move to the next post if nothing resonated. Now you have the option to decide to respond to everything with love, extreme joy, sadness, anger. That feels like an emotional rollercoaster I will decide not to jump on.

We can continue to ask our social media outlets for more customization, more personalization, and more options. But ask yourself: is more always better? Or is the “more” sometimes actually offering me less?

Buzzkill

Posted on 2016-02-19 by sorted.by Melissa

It is rarely quiet in my household. Even when the children are at school my phone pings and buzzes with alerts, the dryer sends out a loud BUZZZZZZ to alert me that its work is done, and often a delivery guy leans on the doorbell (a hybrid bell/buzzer I’m convinced was designed by someone on crystal meth) usually with a package for a neighbor. These interruptions wear me down, disrupt my flow and leave me continuously asking myself, “Now what was I just doing?”. Some days I get so jittery and unfocused it even feels like I’m suffering from the side-effects of electric shock therapy. Must every machine we humans create constantly clamor for our attention? These electronic demands can feel relentless, like a house full of toddlers all crying for something from you simultaneously, or a police interrogation with questions you can’t answer fast enough flying at you from all directions.

I’ve suffered from these onslaughts for years, knowing the source of what was wearing me down, but never giving them enough of my attention to just say STOP: ”I’ll get to you when I can, everything in due time, but hold your horses, buddy!”

And then one day…

I turned off the vibrate/alert function to my phone.
I disconnected the power to the doorbell.
I de-programmed the buzzer function on the dryer.

And then, in the words of Bjork,
It’s. Oh. So quiet
It’s. Oh. So still
You’re all alone
And so peaceful until…

Peaceful? Alone? Well, that’s all relative with young children, but I was certainly more relaxed, I wasn’t constantly being jolted out of my work flow, or interrupted when spending time with my children, or distracted while cooking, tidying, or doing any of the other things I do all day.

I certainly don’t miss the constant notifications and more importantly, I’m not actually missing anything! The alerts and mails keep on arriving on my phone, I eventually remember the laundry should be done, and some of the other neighbors are taking their turns collecting packages for the block. Miraculously, I’m also beginning to focus more, be more effective in my work hours, and spend more quality time with my children. The emails get answered when I can sit down, the dryer is emptied when I manage to get upstairs, and the doorbell, well, some days it stays plugged in and some days I keep it disconnected.

Are you also longing for the need to stay focused, productive, alert and energized? Take it from me: it’s time to KILL YOUR BUZZ!

Our Love Affair with Bags

Posted on 2016-02-07 by sorted.by Melissa

We all love bags but, here at the dawn of 2016, I think it’s safe to say most of us love them a little too much. How did all these bags get into our lives? Well, there are two main ways: either because we bought them for something, or we bought something that we put in them. The first category of bags, well, those are our silent workhorses. We need them to tote our laptops to work, to cart our rain gear and gym clothes, or to haul bottles, diapers and snacks for our offspring. If you have a school-aged child, she needs a knapsack too, and, eventually, a gym bag. Oh, and does your child do any extra-curricular sports? Then you will need a swim bag, ballet bag, judo bag, or fill-in-the-blank bag to contain all that equipment and keep it ready-to-go. Active lifestyles need bags, and that’s okay. But so often we fail to get rid of bags that have outlived their use and so our collection grows, and one day you open a closet to find bags spilling out, many of which you may not have used in years. Believe me, it is now time to donate or throw away that over-used handbag, or that backpack covered in characters your kid stopped liking long ago. Go ahead, you have my permission–just do it!

Culling your “purpose bag” collection will certainly feel great and free up some space, but there’s a far sneakier category of bag invader on the loose. Walk into any home and you will find shopping bags stuffed in closets, hidden in drawers, hanging on coat racks and nestled on chairs. We have plastic bags that hold more plastic bags. We use bags to sort out our possessions, often with the intention to recycle, donate or complete as a future project. Broken bits to fix/glue? You put it in a bag. Leftover assembly parts? You put it in a bag. Loose cables and cords? You put it in a bag. Screws, nails, tacks, tape? You put it in a bag. Don’t know where it should go, but I “need” to hold on to it? You put it in a bag.

How many of these bags do you think you own? Take a guess. I am going to bet that number is actually double, perhaps even triple what you might think. How do I know? Well, as a professional organizer, I get to peek into how people live, and nearly every client I have met has more bags than he thought, and certainly many more than he needs! In 2010 there were 98.6 billion plastic carrier bags placed on the EU market; nearly 90% were for single-use. That means that every EU citizen was in possession of around 198 plastic carrier bags in 2010 (source: IamExpat), and most of us can’t help hanging on to them. We are so good at stuffing them out of sight that soon they are out of mind and so our collection grows. But now is the perfect time to break free of our “bag habit.” Dutch legislation that went into effect on 1 January 2016 means businesses will no longer offer these bags free of charge to consumers, presenting us all with an opportunity to be more mindful about letting these bags into our homes.

So what to do about all those bags?

Just say no to plastic carrier bags and don’t pay for them. What a waste environmentally and an unnecessary drain on your finances. Instead, reuse all the bags you currently own, decreasing rather than increasing your collection. Put one or more in your work bag, your handbag, your bike bag and your car. Have them available in places where you are going to need them for essential purchases. If you’re really drowning in plastic bags then use them as trash liners for your small bathroom wastebaskets until you run out. Above all, when a plastic bag can’t be used again . . . recycle it!

Carry along a tote or fold-able bag for personal purchases. Lucky enough to have a day out shopping for a new outfit? Will that new blouse or jeans, that bottle of perfume or lipstick fit in your hand bag? Say no thank you to the cashier, and take your new purchase as is, using a tote or fold-able bag brought from home, or try to combine multiple purchases into one shopping bag. If you like to bring your purchases home and ‘unwrap’ them”, ask yourself why you are experiencing that feeling. Was the ‘gift to yourself’ more important than the purchase? Are you purchasing to fulfill another need?

Use large shopping bags or carriers for donations and/or recycle them. Sometimes we make a large purchase such as new pillows or boots that simply won’t fit into a tote. The store offers us a large, sturdy paper bag with rope or fabric handles which we gladly accept to make the transport from store to home easier. Don’t become attached to the bag! Either recycle it immediately, collect your recyclables in it, or de-clutter a closet and fill it with your donations. Then drop it off and walk away.

Don’t go tote-ally crazy. How many of us have been to a conference, workshop or other event where you have been given a canvas “goody bag”? Canvas bags and totes are a popular and practical souvenir for any event; they offer great advertising for the provider and are convenient for carrying around event swag. Next time you hit an event, though, bring your own tote, and if another bag is offered, ask yourself if you like it enough to re-use it after the event? If a new tote makes it home with you, either start using it right away (and think about getting rid of an older one) or donate it.

Now-back to all those loose bits and pieces and unfinished projects: I give you permission to throw them away! If you really needed it you would have fixed it by now. Say good-bye to all that excess baggage in 2016 and start fresh!

Mindfulness, Minimalism & Marie Kondo

Posted on 2016-01-28 by sorted.by Melissa

dandelion

In 2015 I experienced a significant mind-shift in the midst of recovering from some major burnout.

Flashback to 2014: I was going through life’s motions, wanting to but not able to find my true “purpose”, struggling to keep up with our family routines and feeling busy and overwhelmed by day-to-day tasks and responsibilities.

My experience is not singular. We have all experienced the kind of major life change (children, separations, moves, illnesses and career promotions, to name just a few) which throws our sense of organization, structure and well-being into question. At the very moment I was experiencing just such a shift, I encountered Mindfulness, Minimalism and Marie Kondo, three pillars that ultimately, after months spent first healing my physical self, brought me a renewed sense of myself, my abilities, my purpose and lead me to a more focused and organized way of living.

The Cluttered Mind – Mindfulness

Mindfulness is living in the here and now, without judgment, from moment to moment. I was first introduced to the concept of Mindfulness through an ex-colleague who had taken a course introducing its concepts and methods. At that time I was overwhelmed by the seemingly endless to-do lists and responsibilities of work and family, so much so that I was unable to enjoy the big or little moments that I knew were supposed to be “fun” or “relaxing”. All I could see was a series of tasks stretching out in front of me, endlessly and joylessly. My colleague wisely thought a course like the one she had taken might be just the thing to help me out of this funk.

Mindfulness has been practiced for centuries by Buddhists and was brought to the West in the nineteen-seventies by Jon Zabat-Zin, who developed its principals into a program called MBSR to assist individuals suffering from acute illnesses. Over the last few decades, it has been further adapted into a skill-set that can be learned to help practitioners cope with depression, stress or addiction.

In early 2015, I finally attended an eight-week Mindfulness training course. It was then I realized for how long I had been suffering from the effects of untreated stress and depression, largely because I had set the bar too high for my own personal achievements. I was trying too hard to do and have it all. The course taught me how to be less judgmental of myself, practice patience, accept my reality and let go of what I cannot control.

We never seem to have enough time in the day, we run from place to place and shift from task to task, all the time hoping for a miracle cure to our time management crisis. I have learned there is no one organization app that will solve your problems or a cure-all time management style that will release you from your commitments. Instead, Mindfulness is a way to pause, feel the discomfort or pleasure of a moment, slow down the thought process and focus more clearly on what you want to achieve out of your life.

Not sure if you are ready just yet to try Mindfulness? I recommend any of the following by way of introduction:

Headspace: an app that will teach and lead you through meditation; made for our busy lives, it can easily be slotted into your work commute, lunch break or before bed each day.
Coloring Books for Adults: these have become all the rage and for good reason. Take a coloring break with your child and discover how the mind automatically quiets, you won’t be able to think of to-do lists when focused on coloring between the lines.
Running: need something more active? Just 30 minutes of running can give your mind rest, spark creativity (and endorphins) and reduce the blues.

The Cluttered Life – Minimalism

At the mention of “minimalism” most people automatically picture a stark white room with a singular chair, perhaps a lamp, all of a Scandinavian design, of course. These days, though, minimalism isn’t necessarily about living sparsely but rather living life more intentionally. In our modern lives we are searching for more purpose, redefining what success is and, ultimately, what it means to be happy. There is no standard set of rules or guidelines that you must follow to be a true minimalist; it is a lifestyle choice for you to define in whatever way works for you, by minimizing the excesses that distract you from achieving contentment.

I have always considered myself a thoughtful selector of the items I choose to bring into my home. Having moved a multitude of times over the course of my life I realized early on I had no desire to pack, carry and unpack a large household with many extraneous items. When I discovered the minimalist lifestyle I finally had a word for they way in which I already aspired to live, and as I dove deeper into the idea of Minimalism I realized how I could apply the same concepts of de-cluttering my home to all areas of my life. I now free up resources and streamline my lifestyle to live a more intentional and productive life. In doing so, my relationships with friends and family have never been better, and every day my purpose in life becomes clearer and more defined.

To learn more about Minimalism, I suggest you check out: www.theminimalists.com, www.becomingminimalist.com/ or nosidebar.com/

The Cluttered Home – Marie Kondo

2015 was the year of Marie Kondo. This Japanese organizing and de-cluttering guru captured our attention with her book “The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing”. For those of you who may not have heard all about her methods by now, Kondo has developed a unique perspective and organizing method called the KonMari method. She recommends that you physically touch every item you own, register your emotion, ask yourself “Does it spark joy?” and if the answer is “yes“, keep it, if it doesn’t, get rid of it, even if you can name a thousand other reasons to keep it. Kondo’s method is black and white, and she argues that applying the method to your own home leaves you surrounded only by the things you love and value most.

As a professional organizer, I read her book early on. At first, I had my reservations: Kondo is a young, single professional living in Japan, so how could she understand our lifestyle with two busy kids and two working parents? Yet I found that even though my house is streamlined and orderly, I could look at the remaining objects and ask myself, does it spark joy? And, sure enough, several items in my home sparked no joy. Items we collected over the years that at one point in my life were meaningful, even beloved, but now left me flat. We all struggle with the emotional attachment to our belongings, and by using Kondo’s method I was able to finally let go of several items, including a leather jacket I bought in college on a trip to Italy that no longer served me or gave me joy. I still have the memories, but I don’t need the reminder taking up precious space in my wardrobe.

If you would like to learn more about the KonMari method, the first step is to read her book. Also, just this month she released a new step-by-step follow-up book called “Spark Joy: An Illustrated Master Class on the Art of Organizing and Tidying Up.” It is a comprehensive companion to her original book fully illustrating her method of folding and storing clothing and how to de-clutter all the categories of your home.

A Laundry list of to do’s

Posted on 2016-01-24 by sorted.by Melissa

switch-1033640_1920 Is there anyone out there who enjoys doing laundry? Truth be told, I don’t completely detest it: there’s something quite gratifying about stuffing a pile of clothes into a machine that magically scrubs, rinses and spins them, leaving me free for more important chores. Plus, there’s that instant sense of accomplishment once the load is in and I press the start button – an easy tick off my to-do list, right? Except it’s not–I can never strike it from my list, because the laundry is never, ever done! There is always more to do! I once saw a woman on Oprah who claimed she cleaned her house buck-naked so all the laundry would be done and her clothes hampers finally empty. In reality, though, they never are. Maybe for a few hours, sure, and then the pile begins to grow again, and the more people, especially little people, in your household, the faster it grows. Yes, laundry is like any other maintenance chore: cooking, dusting, changing the sheets; it has to be integrated into a regular routine in such a way that it takes less time and causes the least possible amount of stress.

Laundry is a many-step process: sort, wash, dry (by machine or air), fold (or iron) and put away. For my family, the first and last steps of this process seem the hardest to accomplish. Although I don’t think I’ll ever truly win the battle of laundry, after trying out a number of systems and approaches I have at least learned a few lessons that make the process simpler and more efficient. After all, I have better things to do than laundry!

SORT

Put the laundry baskets where your family needs them, closer to where clothes are removed so that they actually end up in the basket rather than the floor (but not in the bedroom, if possible-multiple bedroom hampers can lead to an unwieldy amount of build-up). Choose hampers without lids: a lid is just a barrier or an extra step, especially for a young child, and it keeps you from seeing how full the hamper actually is.
Pre-sort with more than one basket. One for colors, one for whites, and one for sheets and towels. Three baskets that make it easy to see when it’s time to start a load; you can always sub-sort (i.e., for darks, linens, etc.) from these three.
Use your washing machine as an extra sorting bin; when full, start the machine.

WASH

Use your washing machine’s timer function. Especially if you air dry your clothes, load the night before and set the timer to run just before you wake. If you hang your clean washing first thing in the morning, it will be dry by evening.
Wash more. Try to put in one load each day, or every other day, at a time when you have to be home anyway. If you save everything up for the weekend, or your day off, you are creating a much larger task for yourself and tying yourself down. Wouldn’t you rather be doing anything other than ten loads of laundry?
Delicate or hand-wash items? Use a mesh bag and the hand-wash/cold cycle on your machine—that’s what it’s for! Soaking in the sink is so old-school.
If you have babies or young children in the house, consider using a natural, perfume-free detergent/washing products. That way the whole family’s laundry can be washed together.

DRY

If you air dry, aim to dry one load at a time. Most of us who hang clothing inside to dry don’t have much space. Why clutter every available room with wet clothes? Doing one load a day helps with this.
Load back-to-back washes that both require the dryer. Often your dryer capacity is larger than the washer and can accommodate two loads. Towels and socks, for example, can easily go together in one dry cycle. Saves time and energy.

FOLD (& IRON)

Did you hang your wash in the morning? Then fold your dry clothes before you head to bed.
When the end buzzer goes for the dryer don’t wait—get folding! Getting in the habit of folding immediately keeps the system running and eliminates the need for ironing. In fact, quickly removing and folding clothes from the dryer is often just as efficient as pressing them.
Don’t start a new load before you have folded the last, or your system will get backed up.
Having trouble remembering whose Batman t-shirt or princess socks are whose? Use the dot system: one dot on the label for the eldest child, two dots for the next and so on. As clothes get passed down, add the additional dot. Your children can now sort through and find their own clothes to fold.
Iron only as needed, and consider air drying items that get wrinkled in the dryer—they’ll dry flat. Better yet, try to purchase clothing that does not require ironing, especially for children. Why spend the extra time?

PUT AWAY

Do you have school-aged children? Collect the dry clothing, and as part of your bedtime routine fold the clothes and put them away together. You are teaching and helping your child to learn how to do laundry, and even adding a bit of quality chatting time to the end of your busy day! Added bonus: have them pick out their clothes for the next day, saving loads of time in the morning.
Lost a sock in the process? Put the lone sock back in the drawer-usually its mate will turn up in another load.
Folded and left the piles for everyone to put away? Follow-up and kindly remind them to put their clothes away before bed.
And remember: keep the system going!

Better Habits, Better Resolutions

Posted on 2015-12-31 by sorted.by Melissa

scrabble-resolutions Ask my husband and he’ll tell you I never drive the same route twice. I argue with the navigation system about alternative (and in my mind faster) routes. My nature is to rebel against the idea of routine, which when driving around locally can become monotonous. The truth is if I would drive the same route repeatedly I could predict how long my journey would take, I wouldn’t have to worry that I might arrive late at my destination or become stressed when road works send me off-course.

Routines, and their subsequent habits, are necessary for our brain to predict our future actions. These repetitive actions allow us to process information faster and maintain low stress levels through their predictability. When we have a daily routine and create healthy habits for ourselves we achieve more without demanding extra energy from our mind and body.

If you have ever admired another for their ability to be organized, ask about their routine. Most often they have implemented a set of habits to their routine that keep them on task and up to date; they empty the dishwasher before breakfast, lay-out their clothing the night before, and sort and action the mail when it arrives. These habits, built into their daily routine, help them stay level-headed, stress free and organized.

This week we celebrate the end of another year and usher in 2016 filled with promise and new possibilities. It is a time of self-reflection, recognition of our achievements and making resolutions for the coming year. Experts will tell you that in order for your resolution to succeed define a realistic habit to your daily routine. Top those habits up with realistic milestones and soon those habits will become second nature. It is easy to say I want to run more in 2016 but you are more likely to succeed if you say I commit to running 30 minutes every Tuesday and Thursday and to sign-up for a 5K run in April.

So what resolution does a professional organizer make for the New Year? What would I like to have better organized? – Our family photos. We have thousands of digital photos from the last ten years, all stored on an external drive, sorted by year and month. Sound organized? Yes, but what good are they doing on a device in a closet never to be accessed, viewed and enjoyed. What is the point of capturing memories in photographs never to be viewed? I’ve talked about printing photo albums for years, yet the digital photos increase by the day and I haven’t printed a new album in years. Therefore I have made the following commitment to myself for 2016: 1) I will reserve maximum two hours every week to back-up all new photos, delete duplicates and make a selection for printing; and 2) I will commit to creating and printing an annual photo book each month. Since I am about 10 years behind I aim to be caught up by October.

If you have being better organized in 2016 is on your resolution list begin by looking at your routine and habits. Start small, don’t say I am going to organize the whole house, rather commit to tidying for 15 minutes before bed every day. Set a realistic and obtainable goal and share it with someone that can hold you accountable. If you need extra guidance structuring your resolution, Gretchen Rubin the author of the Happiness Project has written a new book on habits, Better Than Before. According to Rubin “when we change our habits we change our lives”. Here are six questions she poses you to ponder when creating your resolutions.

To make it even easier for you I have created a FREE printable calendar for a month of tidying, organizing and de-cluttering. Download, print and make a fresh start in the New Year to be sorted.

Whatever habits you look to change and resolutions you promise to make I wish you health and prosperity in 2016.

Happy New Year!

The Holiday Fridge

Posted on 2015-12-22 by sorted.by Melissa

Every Feature Has a Function.jpg

I just went to order my holiday groceries and, wouldn’t you know, all the delivery slots are full! Guess this year I’ll just have to print out that shopping list and head to the supermarket myself, trying to strategize my visit for when the crowds are minimal (definitely NOT on the 24^th). It’s not so much the shopping I mind as the stress of remembering everything I need (a list certainly helps with this) and making sure I have a place to store it all.

Which brings me to dwell, for a moment, on that underappreciated workhorse of the holiday season – the humble refrigerator. Whether you have an American- style behemoth or a compact European number in your kitchen, at the holidays we all end up playing Tetris with the groceries. More often than not this season our fridges are quickly filled to bursting, which all-too-often leads to spills, squished items, and sides and garnishes tragically forgotten because they were hidden under the excess of holiday goodies.

What a waste of time, money and spoilt groceries! Never fear—these perils can all be easily avoided by following a few guidelines before you head out to do your shopping (or, if you’re lucky, before you prepare to receive your delivery):

Clear the fridge – toss out the expired condiments (or those you know won’t be used again), the leftovers that will never be eaten (or plan a dinner of leftovers for tonight) and vegetables forgotten and rotting in the chill drawer.
Don’t forget the freezer – make room by repackaging food items into freezer bags and eat up those leftovers ahead of your guest’s arrival (see the above leftover dinner for tonight – won’t it be nice to have a break from cooking in advance of the big day?).
Clean the fridge – take a few minutes and wipe down the surfaces of spills and crumbs. You’ll be amazed at how much more in control you feel. Are you beginning to see the light?
Re-organize the fridge – this is key to helping you with your shopping list and eventual storage. Think in zones and group like items together. I keep all alcoholic beverages on one shelf, milk and juice on another, and condiments and small containers on yet another. I reserve one drawer for meats and cheeses, one drawer for veggies, a large shelf (which can accommodate Tupperware and other odd sizes) for all the leftovers, and the door stores my butter, spreads, eggs and open drink containers. (Real Simple offers these streamlining suggestions.)
Create your shopping list – When everything is grouped together you can quickly assess what’s missing and add it to your list. For the holidays, if you have the room, you might want to grab twice the amount of staples you usually would at the store to keep from running out (and having to run out) in the middle of the action. I suggest having your holiday menu(s) written down next to your shopping list to ensure you grab all the items you need; breakfast, lunch and snacks, too.

With your newly-organized fridge and your grocery shopping complete you should now be able to find plenty of space for everything in the refrigerator. And once your guests are gone and the treats are consumed, this is an easy 5-step process to maintain throughout the year.

It’s Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

Posted on 2015-12-09 by sorted.by Melissa

In the United States, my native land, the slow march towards Christmas begins as soon as the Halloween trick-or-treat-ers lay down their sugary little heads on October 31st. Here in the Netherlands, it’s as if someone flips a switch on 6 December, and the season arrives. With Sinterklaas’ departure back to Spain (to the delight of nearly all parents) we store away our Pieten mutsen, eat the last of the pepernoten and pull out the boxes of Christmas decorations. SkyRadio starts playing Christmas carols in heavy rotation and across the nation trees are purchased, raised and decorated. Christmas is here!

Yes, you can’t walk into a store in this week without tripping over Christmas cards, Christmas lights, and every type of Christmas decoration and frill imaginable for your home and garden. For those that work long days, garden centers have extended hours so that you can spend your entire evening searching for the perfect tree and everything you need to trim it. And while you’re there, why not stock up on the newest trends in holiday decoration? Fur rugs in which to sip your cider? Check. Animatronic deer to ring in your rugged yuletide? You bet. The sparkle and allure, the smells of the season (oliebollen anyone?) are all so enticing. They draw you in and send your brain into purchase mode, for don’t we all want to capture that spirit in a bottle (which you can usually do at check-out!)?

I love the Christmas season. I miss the electric feeling in the air between Thanksgiving and Christmas you get in the U.S., the feeling that every moment of this time of year is special and magical. To compensate for that absence here (I think), I’ve usually gone to extremes in decorating my home for the holidays. Every window sprayed with fake snow, stockings hung from each doorknob, all available wall and horizontal surfaces set in red, green and white. You name it, I’ve bought it.

But in recent years there’s been a shift within me; a need for a calm and restful space during the holiday season. The onslaught of Christmas decorations can so easily go from creating a cozy, wonder-filled home to actually encroaching on our personal space, creating a frenetic environment that’s anything but restful. I began to wonder if maybe my approach to Christmas decorating was having the opposite effect from what I was hoping to achieve. Could it be that the flash of all my festive trimmings was leaving my eyes too dazzled to find those quiet, magical moments? Maybe it was time for a different approach.

So instead of dragging out my Christmas treasures and opening Pandora’s box of Yule in the middle of my living room, I have developed a new strategy for decorating. This year, I pulled the boxes out of storage but didn’t bring them downstairs; instead, I am following these guidelines:

Sift through your decorations and set out only the items that you immediately love and/or have a home for in the coming weeks.
Any broken items? – immediately discard.
From these initial items, is there a theme/style or color scheme to follow? Keep to this theme, style, and color/s, and build on it. Our taste in decorations changes with the trends, the years, and our budgets. Sell, donate or discard anything outside of your current style.
Start by adding a few decorative items and then stand back. Experience it, live with it for a few hours or a day. Are you still at rest; is it enough or do you want to add more? Proceed with caution adding a little each day.
Christmas dishes? Store them in your kitchen cabinets and start using them right away. Why save them for Christmas Eve? Enjoy these items while you can.
Purchase a new tree, set-up and leave overnight (or assemble the artificial tree). Check that your lights are working, is it time to buy new strands? Toss the old ones. There is nothing as disappointing as diving into decorating your tree only to find out the lights don’t work. (And stores sometimes run out of your preferred style the closer you get to Christmas!)
Bring out the Christmas tree decorations once the tree is ready. Anything broken? Immediately discard. No longer your style? Get rid of it. Get decorating, then make a cup of warm cocoa (or something stronger), sit in your comfy spot and enjoy getting this far.
With the tree in its prominent place of honor your home should be feeling sorted. Feeling you need a little something more? Consider a poinsettia or other holiday plant, candles, a bowl of pinecones or a festive tablecloth which covers a large surface and can finish off a space, as long as the pattern isn’t too busy. Small touches can have big impacts.

The key here is to add slowly, making conscious choices that enhance your enjoyment of the season yet allow your home to remain a place of rest and retreat, so necessary at this hectic time of year. And keep your wallet closed, at least for a few days. Once you’ve decided on your style and decorated with your existing items, sure, maybe you do need a new tree topper or glittery ball collection to finish things off. Just remember to spend less time on the decorations and more time on you. Treat yourself to something relaxing because in these next few weeks you are going to need to recharge every chance you can.

Now…where did I put those Christmas cards?

Less Stuff, More Experience

Posted on 2015-12-01 by sorted.by Melissa

FullSizeRender It’s that time of year again: the influx of toys, candy and treats into our home, and into the eager little hands of our two children, has begun. As a mixed Dutch and American family we celebrate two complete sets of traditions from Halloween through to the New Year. That is roughly one new holiday every two weeks! I love holiday traditions and the mark of the seasons, and we always take time to decorate our home for the holidays, partake in local events and make special treats, all in the spirit of experiencing the joy and excitement of the season to its fullest.

Experience-that is the key value for me. Frustratingly, though, the experience of the season is being drowned out by stuff, stuff and more stuff. This is my seventh holiday season with children, and mine can’t pass a shop or see a commercial without mentioning what they want from Sinterklaas, whose sack of toys will arrive in just a few short days. My husband and I always try to be conscious of the items we own and would rather go without in order to save up for what we really need. We have tried to instill these values in our children, yet everything about this time of year conspires to stimulate the need for more, more, more.

The problem is, I don’t want so much stuff! I’ve come to realize, through my personal and professional organizing, that the stuff is what gets in the way of the experience. Joshua Becker’s recent post “21 Surprising Statistics That Reveal How Much Stuff We Actually Own” on the blog “Becoming Minimalist” shocked me when I read number six on his list: British research found that the average 10-year-old owns 238 toys but plays with just 12 daily! That’s a lot of toys for one small child. Every year around this time I take inventory of all the toys my children own from Legos and Playmobile, to endless dress-up items, stuffed animals, puzzles, board games – the list goes on. Yet I know from experience that my kids spend most of their time role-playing; stuffed animals become “students” while playing school and blankets turn into boats or sleds when they glide over the floor. With the simplest of objects their fantasies run wild and they turn the everyday into the magical. So why do I still feel the need to fulfill their wish lists from the toy shop?

I blame Disney and motherly guilt. Earlier this year we took our daughters to Disneyland Paris for the “Princess” experience. On our last day the girls were given a budget and allowed to purchase their souvenirs before we headed home in the car that evening. I was still buzzing from our adventures and feeling the joy of parental success when my youngest woke up from a nap in the backseat. I shared with her how much I had enjoyed our days together at Disneyland, and asked, “did you have a good time, too?” My daughter, said “No, because I didn’t get the hat I wanted.” I was crushed – we had refused to purchase a Rapunzel hat with flowing hair because she had already fulfilled her Frozen obsession with an Elsa doll. But in that moment, as ridiculous as it sounds, I felt like a failure, even though logically I knew that she had indeed had a good time and the hat hadn’t ruined everything. Of course not. The experience will long remain in her memory over the non-purchased hat. But how easy it is to fall into the trap of believing that stuff will make you happy, that the stuff is what matters.

So this holiday season I have chosen to consciously overcome the “stuff trap”, and to reduce the influx of the non-essential in order to focus on the experience of the season. And here is how I am going to do it:

There will be no “wants” this gift-giving season, only “needs”. Why can’t we gift the everyday, like new toothbrushes or a new scarf and glove set? Isn’t the mere fact that there is a wrapped package in Sint’s sack or under Santa’s tree exciting enough?
Things must go out before they come in. I spent last Saturday afternoon with my children sifting through their toys and possessions. We discussed how we out-grow some toys or how we no longer find them fun to play with. I was amazed at the “out” pile they created and I hope they understood my message of less is more.
We won’t accept every party invite. Sport clubs, school, work, friends and family will all host their own events. Attending every party oversaturates the holiday experience, and as much as we want to celebrate with all the people who are part of our lives, it’s not always possible in such a compressed period of time, and that’s okay. Children (and over-stressed parents) need moments to simply relax and recharge, even in the midst of this busy time.
Less things and more experiences. Movie tickets, museum outings, ice skating, these are all things my children love to do and can take for granted that we will do. This year Sinterklaas and Santa will be giving them homemade coupons to trade for these gifts of experiences.
We told our families. With several aunts, uncles and grandparents our children often receive a large mountain of gifts even if each relative buys just one. We’ve done our best to explain our philosophy with the extended family this season and request that they gift things our children need or can experience.

I’m sure this season won’t be perfect-there will be overstimulation, and tears, and gifts not received or not appreciated. Kids are kids, and the holidays are always messy and beautiful at the same time. But I believe it’s never too late to change and strive for a greater level of experience and understanding, to adapt a new way of “giving” or set it as a resolution to sort through and reduce the clutter in the New Year.

So whatever way you choose to “gift” during the holiday season I hope you’ll join me in taking the time to think about what truly makes your own experience of the holiday season as special and wondrous as it can be.

Happy Holidays!

Melissa

helping you live a more organized life.

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